Silence.Is.My.Crutch. ?

today.
definitely one tough story to crack and to be told. the plan to tell out the truth, burst itself and swallowed me back into the black hole. I am too dumb-ed by the situation that for a moment, i was in total speecless reactions. never i thought of losing myself like that.
never meant to hurt. i never mean to make others un happy. this is the promise that i have told myself to keep. and today, i break it. again.
2 persons. i made them un happy. it hurts. badly.
worried abt myself is no longer an issue. It is just that now, i am totally lost in how to make things right again.
wow.
i am really hating myself now. just for once, i could just speak up. and tell how i really felt. didnt work out. i dont think it would work out at all. and seems like by being quiet, wasnt a good idea. it makes it out more. in sense of hate and love and also contradictary.
I choose love. as that is all i can give.
and that is all i know how to give.

abuser.